In any case, when Jeff and I started dating more seriously, I kept going back and forth to find out if a relationship agreement was necessary. From the beginning, we communicated well, including on difficult, sensitive and deeply intimate subjects. We never blew each other up or we didn`t lie down angry. Only a year ago, after living together for about two years, we ended up biting the ball and moving forward with a relationship contract. Both parties will be aware of each other`s love languages and will understand them on the basis of Gary Chapman`s 5 love languages. Receive gifts, time, confirmation words, service actions and physical touch. This understanding is taken into account when the way intimacy is practiced does not correspond to the other. It was not because things had started to go south in our relationship; On the contrary, things went well. I think relationships are most effective when they are born at a time when things are stable in your relationship. Finally, the agreement is not a band-aid solution for problems; instead, it highlights things that may go wrong in the future. All relationship agreements should include all means used to resolve conflicts. In recent years, couples have been brought to justice to settle disputes.
Today, couples are advised to use other means to resolve disputes, such as mediation and arbitration when mediation appears to fail. As with any agreement, the assistance of a lawyer competent in the design and negotiation of contracts can make the difference between a contract that is enforceable and a contract that is not. Your lawyer can also help you identify the elements you want to include in your agreement and pave the way for a more fluid and predictable relationship. For example, some states will not apply an infidelity clause because it runs counter to the public policy that underlies the state`s divorce law. The applicability of love contracts is relatively new to the court and cannot be predicted with great precision. However, if a treaty of love fulfills the elements of other unions and agreements before marriage and is not contrary to public policy, the courts of some states may very well enforce it. At the time, I didn`t care about the idea of a relationship agreement. As a hopeless romantic, who grew up in the era of Disney love stories, I tend to follow my heart rather than my mind. A relationship agreement seemed to be the antithesis of romanticism. In true love, I thought that soul mates – two people who experience a bond so powerful that it is almost divine – were so synchronous that words would not need to be spoken.
A written agreement would certainly not be necessary — the least romantic gesture of all. To adle love in a transaction similar to a business and a number of do`s and don`ts? No way. The soul mates simply killed each other. They sit down and say, “Okay, what does it mean for us to be in a relationship? What is important for us to make sure we are involved? What can we enshrine in our contract to make you feel safe, loved, seen and cared for? I considered the relationship agreement to be a great romantic gesture, no different from how some people see a marriage proposal. It is an exercise in introspection and a precursor to the development of the real relational agreement. In a way, this exercise is at the heart of the whole process. There is no need yet to have a specific directive or directive – it will come when you and your partner meet to discuss what you have written.